One Idiot of 2007 > > > > I am a medical student currently doing a > rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, > this woman called in very upset because she caught her > little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that > the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring > her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the > end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave > her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the > ants. > > > I told her that she better bring her > daughter in to the emergency room right away. > > Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with > pride. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Number Two Idiot of 2007 > > Early this year, some Boeing employees on > the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the > 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane > and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the > river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward > them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the > emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was > inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. > > Here's your sign, guys. Don't get > it wet; the paint might run. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Number Three Idiot of 2007 > > > A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of > America, walked in to the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all > your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting > to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that > someone had seen him write the note and might call the > police before he reached the teller's window. So he left > the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells > Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed > his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, > surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the > brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not > accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of > America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill > out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of > America. > > > Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, > 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, > as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America. > > Don't bother with this guy's > sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Number Four Idiot of 2007 > > > A motorist was unknowingly caught in an > automated speed trap that; measured his speed using radar > and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a > ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, > he sent the police department a photograph of $40. > > > several days later, he received a letter > from the police that contained another picture, this time of > handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. > Wise guy........ > > But you still get a sign > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Number Five Idiot of 2007 > > > A guy walked into a little corner store > with a shotg un and demanded all of the cash from the cash > drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber > saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on > the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, > but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't > believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but > the clerk still refused to give it to him because she > didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his > driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the > clerk. > > > The clerk looked it over and agreed that > the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the > bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The > cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and > address of the robber that he got off the license. They > arrested the robber two hours later. > > This guy defini tely needs a sign. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Idiot Number Six of 2007 > > > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a > record shop nervously waving revolvers. > > > The first one shouted, 'Nobody > move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit > shot him. > > This guy doesn't even deserve a sign > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Idiot Number Seven of 2007 > > > Arkansas : Seems this guy wanted some > beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a > cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, > and run. > > > So he lifted the cinder block and heaved > it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced > back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store > window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught > on videotape. > > Yep, here's your sign. > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Idiot Number Eight of 2007 > > > I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega > , Wisconsin ) We recently had a new neighbor call the local > township administrative office to request the removal of the > Deer Crossing sign on our road. > > > The reason: 'Too many deer are being > hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good > place for them to be crossing anymore.' hahahaha
